Jesus told a parable about a younger brother, an older brother, a father, and answering the question of who you are. To appreciate Jesus’ parable, it is important to know about the Eastern culture that was prevalent in the time of Jesus and that still is prevalent in Eastern culture today. While Western culture is defined by an individualistic understanding of life, Eastern culture is defined by a connected communal understanding of life. A term that describes Eastern culture is honor-shame culture. The primary goal of honor-shame culture is to strengthen the reputation of family and community while avoiding decisions that bring dishonor to those to whom your life is connected.
Jayson Georges writes about the five prevalent rules that provide the foundation for honor-shame culture.
- Family defines everything. Children are taught at an early age how to bring honor to the family, and people are expected to be loyal to their community, even at personal cost.
- Social capital fixes anything. The most important asset any person has is his or her reputation. Since problems are solved through relationships. You accrue social capital by giving gifts, helping people, and sharing meals and you cash in on social capital when you need help with a problem.
- Aggression restores honor. Honor is life’s most important commodity so any insult to a person’s honor must be vigorously defended. The cultural response is to defend the family’s name with aggression.
- Words define status. Words are tools for defining the social hierarchy. Since the purpose of language is to communicate honor and maintain relational harmony, the concepts of honesty and truth look different. As an example of what this means, Georges states that an Afghan-American Christian once explained to him, “When I invite an American to my house and they say, ‘Let me look at my calendar,’ that is so insulting! In my culture, you must immediately say, ‘Yes!’ to affirm the relationship, even if there might be a scheduling conflict.” In this woman’s culture, an immediate affirmation is true to the relationship, even if the invitee knows she’ll have to cancel later.
- Food conveys honor. The people you eat with define both your community and identity.
Georges states that a friend in Central Asia asked him incredulously, “Do Americans really eat lunch alone in a cubicle or while driving in the car, like in movies?” Breaking bread together imparts honor, so eating alone is unthinkable. This is why hospitality and meals are so significant in Muslim cultures. Food represents the gift of life.
Jayson Georges, https://honorshame.com/the-5-unwritten-rules-of-honor-shame-cultures/
Based on these five unspoken rules, I invite you to consider Jesus’ parable about a younger brother, an older brother, a father and answering the question of who you are.
First, the unspoken rule about family defining everything. The request by the younger son for an advance on his inheritance was the exact repudiation of this unspoken rule. It was the
equivalent of the younger son saying that he wished his father was dead. Ordinarily, a parent’s response to such a request would be anger and cutting off all ties with the child but that was not the case in Jesus’ parable. Instead of being angry, the father gave the younger son his share of the inheritance.
Leaving his family, the younger brother eventually lives in a pigsty. This would have been the ultimate degradation and embarrassment for a Jewish person in Jesus’ day. While he was dwelling in the reality of his worst nightmare, Luke 15:17 reports that the younger brother “came to himself.” Confessing the reality of where his journey had taken him, the younger brother rehearsed what he would say to his father as he begged to be welcomed back to his family: “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you; I am no longer worthy to be called your son; treat me like one of your hired hands.”
Second, the unspoken rule about social capital fixing anything. Not only had the younger son squandered both his inheritance, he had also squandered his social capital by cutting off his relationship with his father and his brother. His return home as a failure would have been an embarrassment and sign of shame, but the father turned shame into joy as he ran to greet his younger son. N. T. Wright explains how unusual the father’s greeting was: “in a culture where senior figures are far too dignified to run anywhere, this man takes to his heels as soon as he sees his young son dragging himself home.” Restoring his relationship with the son who had wished him dead, the father’s love reconciles the moment as he celebrates the return of the son who was dead and is alive again.
Third, the unspoken rule about aggression restoring honor. The older son responded aggressively toward his father as he sought to restore honor to the family’s name. He considered the father’s celebration of the younger brother’s return as an insult toward their family. He was the one who was working faithfully in the field when his brother returned. He was the one who had to ask “what was going on” when he heard the music and dancing. He was the one who sought to restore honor to the family name by refusing to enter the father’s house.
Fourth, the unspoken rule about words defining status and social hierarchy. The older son spoke angrily to the father because the father’s welcoming of the younger son was redefining the social hierarchy of the family. Overcome by bitterness, he told his father, “Listen! For all these years I have been working like a slave for you, and I have never disobeyed your command.” The older son was unable to share the joy of his father because his focus was on maintaining social hierarchy rather than rejoicing for his brother who had been dead and had come to life.
Fifth, the unspoken rule about food conveying honor. The older brother believed the meal that honored the younger brother’s return was a personal insult as he told his father: “yet you have never given me even a young goat so that I might celebrate with my friends. But when this son of yours came back, who has devoured your property with prostitutes, you killed the fatted calf for him!”
Did you notice how the focus of Jesus’ parable changed from the younger brother at the beginning of the parable to the older brother at the end of the parable? Did you notice how the parable concludes with the younger brother returning home and the older brother remaining outside of the home? Did you notice that the parable ends with an invitation for the older brother to live in reconciliation with his brother through the joy of his father? Did you notice that the parable is an invitation to live in the equal love of God as we seek to understand who we are? Did you notice that the parable is about answering the question of who you are?
Answering the Questions
by Pastor Marc Brown
March 27, 2022
Accompanying Scriptures: II Corinthians 5:14-21 and Luke 15:11-32
Fort Hill United Methodist Church
Order of Worship for March 27, 2021
Scripture Lesson II Corinthians 5:14-21 and Luke 15:11-32
The Good News “Answering the Questions”
Music “Amazing Grace”
Prayer
Blessing
Closing Music “I am a Poor Wayfaring Stranger” by Joel Raney
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